Assistant: Come on sir, lets participate in Swacch Bharat
Official: Where is the media?
Assistant: On the way, sir
Official: We should respect them, so lets wait till they come
Wife : Darling, I hate these language barriers between us
Husband : Me too
Wife : How sweet..!, but why ? ,
Husband : Whenever you say that you are dying, i will think that you are actually dying, but later you will reveal that your just dying your hair.
Pappu met up with his close friend Bunty and told him that he had just met the girl of his dreams. He asked Bunty for advise on how he should proceed!
The wise and experienced man of the world, Bunty said, "Well, send her roses, and on the name card invite her for a home-cooked meal."
Pappu liked the idea, so he followed Bunty's advice and invited the woman. Next day after the dinner Bunty called Pappu and asked him how did the home-cooked dinner go.
Pappu cried, "It was a complete flop."
Bunty asked, "Why? Didn't the girl come to your house?"
Pappu replied, "She came, but she refused to cook and left angrily!"
A Husband and his wife went for Divorce at a court.
Judge: You have three kids, how will you divide them ?
Husband had long discussion with his wife and said to the judge, "ok, we will come next year with one more kid and divide equally."
Jokes doesn't end here... 9 months later... they got twins.
A rich farmer had been trying desperately to marry off his daughters. One day he met Nasir.
"I have several daughters," the farmer told the Nasir.
"I would like to see them comfortably fixed. And I will say this, they won't go to their husbands without a little bit in the bank, either. The youngest one is twenty-three and she will take Rupees 25,000 with her. The next one is thirty-two, and she will take Rupees 50,000 with her. Another is forty-three and she will take Rupees 75,000 with her."
"That's interesting," said Nasir.
"I was just wondering if you have one about fifty years old."