Animal Jokes ( Page 1 of 6 )

I Believe That You Are Sitting In My Seat

After death, a German Shepherd, Doberman and a cat meets God.

German Shepherd says "I believe in loyalty to my master".

God says God and asks it to sit down on the right side.

Doberman says "I believe in the protection of my master".

God says "Sit to my left".

Cat says "I believe that you are sitting in my seat".


The One About The Stand-In Gorilla

When a zoo’s gorilla dies, the zookeeper hires an actor to don a costume and act like an ape until the zoo can get another one.

In the cage, the actor makes faces, swings around, and draws a huge crowd. He then crawls across a partition and atop the lion’s cage, infuriating the animal. But the actor stays in character-until he loses his grip and falls into the lion’s cage.

Terrified, the actor shouts, “Help! Help me!” Too late. The lion pounces, opens its massive jaws, and whispers, “Shut up! Do you want to get us both fired?!”




Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, “Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?” The birch says he cannot tell, but just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling.

The birch says, “Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?”

The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree and replies, “It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch, It is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever poked my pecker into.”

Now wipe that smile off your face.



Religious Cowboy

The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the savannah.

Three weeks later, a Antelope walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy could not believe his eyes.

He took the precious book out of the Antelopees mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, “It is a miracle!” “Not really,” said the Antelope. “Your name is written inside the cover.”



The Christian Lion

Two guys are walking through a game park and they come across a lion that has not eaten for days.

The lion starts chasing the two men. They run as fast as they can and the one guy starts getting tired and decides to say a prayer, “Please turn this lion into a Christian, Lord.” He looks to see if the lion is still chasing and he sees the lion on its knees.

Happy to see his prayer answered, he turns around and heads towards the lion. As he comes closer to the lion, he hears the it saying a prayer: “Thank you Lord for the food I am about to receive.”


Allu Arjun is rat, Pawan fans are cats!

News: Pawan fans to target Allu Arjun today, at Oka Manasu audio launch

Just like the group of cats, waiting at the entrance of the rats hole.

By Phani Ch


186 snakes in a house in UP

News: 186 snakes in a house in UP

Snakes inner voice: Why you be so selfish that you wanted only human beings as relatives and allow only them into the house.

By Phani Ch


Tigers inner voice for going to Cambodia

News: Indian tigers to Cambodia soon

Tigers: Please send us soon, before government plans visas to send us to Cambodia.

By Phani Ch


Dinosaurs or human beings, who are sadists?

News: Jewellery made with dinosaurs remains

Dinosaur’s inner soul: Then I killed human beings and you named me as sadist. Now you killed me and using my parts as jewellery on your body. Now my question is who are the hardcore sadists?

By Phani Ch


What if Japan whales given chance to express its feelings

News: Japan kills 333 Minke Whales

Whales: You kill us and say it’s research and if we kill, you will say its a murder. Injustice.

By Phani Ch


Donkey speaks with Himesh Reshammiya after Tera Suroor result

News: Teraa Suroor, a huge disaster.  

Donkey with Himesh Reshammiya: Did you think that I cannot do acting? I stopped because, these human beings already said, donkey should do only a donkey’s work. Come on, you too get back to singing.

By Phani Ch


Shankardada reacts on Srimanthudu scripts controversy

News: Srimanthudu script is mine, a writer files petition against Mahesh Babu

What if Shankardada reacts now in his English: “Thieves go 6 months, dogs bark”

By Phani Ch