According to a study, children of married couples are more likely to do better than those from broken or single-parent families. Lisa Antao explores.

It's often said that a child growing up in a happy, caring environment will grow up to become a happy individual. And to support this notion, a recent study has concluded that children of married couples are more likely to be successful than those coming from a broken family or those having an upbringing from a single parent. Also, children of divorced parents face a greater likelihood of trouble. We asked experts if the study is necessarily true in its conclusion.
"Statistically speaking, children with married parents do better as opposed to divorced parents. But then again these statistics are generalisations. It's not about the parents being married or divorced, it's the relationship between the parents that makes or breaks the child, mentally. But on the other hand, children from single parent homes tend to have more behaviour issues and also tend to be gender-biased," says couples counsellor Shreya Poddar.

Divorce or separation does affect children. But on the other hand, today's children are very smart and they see that their parents just cannot exist together under one roof without fighting so they make peace with that. This can sometimes lead them to become lonely, anxious, unhappy and insecure. This often results in poor grades and can even lead to the child dropping out of school completely. Lack of self-esteem carries into their adult lives and leads to many unpleasant side effects like troubled relationships, difficulties finding a job and marital troubles. Also, feeling responsible for parental problems may translate into self-destructive behaviour, feelings of abandonment, sometimes even suicidal thoughts, withdrawal from family, friends, even acting out violent behaviour and sexual activity, explains Poddar.

Though the study holds true in many cases, one cannot ignore that there are always exceptions. Is the fact that parents being married enough for children to succeed as individuals? What if the parents' marriage is an unhappy one? Psychologist Neha Patel says, "Sometimes, in cases where the parents are in an unhappy marriage, the children might suffer more than those living with single parents, as they see their parents fighting with each other." She says that it all depends on the parenting style, how a child is brought up.

Celeb speak
VJ and actor Cyrus Shahukar whose parents got divorced when he was very young, does not agree with the findings of the study. "I don't believe in such a study. It's strange because a marriage could also be an unhappy one. There are many people whose parents' marriage may not have worked out but still are pretty successful. Also, this theory can be reversed, as there are people who are not successful inspite of coming from a happy home. Such a study can be dangerous as people tend to get labelled, because of its conclusions."

Professional success vs emotional well-being
Patel doesn't deny the fact a child from a broken marriage can still be a successful individual career-wise but maintains that parents' broken marriage does affect children emotionally. She advises that it's the parents' duty to make the children understand that it's not the children's fault for the marital discord.

Corporate wellness expert Dr Hetal Desai says that such a child grows up to be more independent and accepts the phases of development faster, by missing or passing the childhood phase very rapidly and gaining a deep understanding and maturity at an early age. Hence, there is a possibility of the child to do well inspite of not having strong family support.