No one likes coughing up rent. But at least these tenants gave landlords creative reasons for avoiding it.
"With my daughter's graduation, our new boat, and our trip to Europe this year, we're a little strapped."
"I'm getting real tired of paying this rent every month! You'll have to wait a few more days."
"We're a little short right now. But don't worry—we're getting a refund on my wife's tattoo. The artist messed it up, and we're getting back most of the bucks!"
"I didn't pay the rent because I'm saving up to move."
"It's your fault the check bounced. Why didn't you tell me you were going to run to the bank the very same day!"
While visiting a retirement community, my wife and I decided to do some shopping and soon became separated.
"Excuse me," I said, approaching a clerk. "I'm looking for my wife. She has white hair and is wearing white shoes."
Gesturing around the store, the clerk responded, "Take your pick."
The computer in my high school classroom was acting up. After watching me struggle with it, a student explained that my hard drive had crashed. So I called IT. "Can someone look at my computer?"
I asked. "The hard drive crashed."
"We can't just send people down on your say-so," said the specialist. "How do you know that's the problem?"
"A student told me."
"We'll send someone right over."
There are over a million words in the English language, but we can always use more. Here are some that wordsmiths contributed to the Merriam-Webster Open Dictionary website:
Epiphunny (noun): The moment of sudden revelation when one gets the joke.
Nagivator (noun): A bossy person who rides in the passenger seat and gives directions to the driver.
Phooey Vuitton (noun): A sub- standard, counterfeit Louis Vuitton product.
Wuzband (noun): A former husband.