Why do so many women complain that they're unable to achieve orgasms? Why are beauty magazines screaming with advice, all vying to get your attention, on how best to reach a mindblowing climax? Why do some women fail to enjoy lovemaking sessions?
Clinical Psychologist Seema Hingorany says a fear of getting pregnant or being exposed to a sexually transmitted disease can interfere with a woman's sexual pleasure. Female orgasmic disorder is a fairly common sexual disorder that affects the way a woman climaxes during sexual activity. Women are unable to experience an orgasm despite adequate sexual arousal. "Educate yourself regarding safe sex practices. Stress can also lower testosterone. Making love is not something we are born knowing - one has to learn how to give and receive sexual stimulation and satisfaction. Due to a variety of reasons - cultural, religious and personal - some women are uncomfortable discussing and exploring the sexual techniques that might bring on or intensify an orgasm. Many women don't view sex as a normal and enjoyable part of a relationship. They may associate sex with shame, guilt or fear," says Seema.
Senior Sex Therapist and Counsellor Dr Rajan B. Bhonsle says that inability to reach an orgasm is very common amongst women. "It either stems from your own deep rejection of your sexuality, or as a result of a moralistic upbringing. At times, there is a physical problem that prevents woman from reaching orgasms. With some guidance most of them can learn how to achieve one," says Dr Bhonsle.
Women can enjoy multiple orgasms as their body needs no time to reset sexual drives after an orgasm. Given the significance of intercourse, and the way it is depicted in movies, many couples have an unrealistic expectation of it. Many young women are confused and puzzled when they try it a few times and do not find it as delightful and fascinating for them as they expected.
"Female Sexual Arousal Disorder (FSAD) is characterised by lack of sexual desire, decreased libido and lack of lubrication, causing difficult or painful intercourse or the inability to climax. Any one or a combination of these symptoms can hinder a woman from having a satisfying sexual alliance," says Dr Bhonsle.
Homeopath and Clinical Psychologist Dr Kanan Khatau Chikhal says that while therapy can help, it is also important that couples take an extra initiative to be more intimate. "Women should realise that it's fine to tell their partners what stimulates them. The Keigel Exercise although devised for women with urinary trouble, is also helpful. It includes contracting the vagina and relaxing it about 60 - 70 times a day.
A therapist will explore issues in your past and encourage you to become familiar with your body and what pleases you sexually. Books and videos are often helpful. Certain techniques are often successful in helping a woman learn how to have orgasms. There is no one right way to experience sexual pleasure - one must adapt their lovemaking style to best suit their needs.