Many times, it so happens that we do not know what is our personality trait exactly, and with the love towards us, we start estimating ourselves at a major extent that is even beyond a reality... here are some examples that make you understand your personality trait of you being a back biter or not... this trait being a major hurdle for your growth as a individual;
What you might be saying may be the truth, but never speak of things that you are not authorized to speak about others. Difference between backbiting and slander is that, backbiting can be true information whereas slander is publishing false information about a person. Even though the information is true, keep yourself off the shelf where people involve in loose talk about another individual. If your word of truth, is like a drop of poison that can contaminate the whole sea, then hold your tongue.
When you have an issue with someone, confront the problem, talk to the person concerned about the issue in kind and sincere manner rather than poking and showing fury from behind the back. Whenever you say things about another person and adds that "I will talk about it to the person later on; I don't care doing it" etc. you are developing a negative relationship. Think about it once again. If you have a problem with someone talks about it within two of you first, before disclosing it to a third person. Confronting helps more than backbiting.
It is the natural instinct of human beings to give advices to others and to warn others about the possible harm they might encounter in future. But when this natural talk is about warning a person about the faults and mistakes done by another person, then you are definitely doing the act of backbiting. Speak of the situation, speck of the characteristics that can lead to a worse situation, but when you point out the mistakes of another, you are not warning or advising, you are literally backbiting.
When you mention things about another person by stating that the world already knows about it and you are simply repeating what you have heard, remember that you are following the footsteps of hypocrites. Never spread the gist of rumors even though you feel/know that everyone else in world knows "something" about somebody. You are ‘no-one’ to spread the word carried by wind. Whenever you do it, you becoming a part of the clan who judge others without knowing the truth behind the story.
Talking 'things' about another person is not a walk in the park. It is one of the most disgusting acts one could ever commit, according to most religious teachings. When you "say" things and comments about another person’s acts or attitudes, behind his back, you are infact ripping off another person’s identity, judging him/her with your own perceptions and enjoying it while you share the poison with others. So, mind your words, when you speak about others.
Get rid of this personality trait, before it bites your personality as such!
