The 6 Ways To Help Your Partner Grieve The Loss Of A Loved OneAugust 05, 2017 19:50
The 6 Ways To Help Your Partner Grieve The Loss Of A Loved One:- Both the partners will see each other through life’s most turbulent and traumatic experiences: death, loss, illness, failures, the list goes on, when they grow together.
Often, you will be the first person that your partner turns to in times of trouble. It can also be incredibly overwhelming for one person to handle. Knowing how to help a partner grieve is key, as you want to do what is best for your partner.
You would have wished you did not to prepare for it, but one horrible day, the love of your life will lose a parent, sibling, relative, or friend. It is never easy dealing with death and helping your spouse through this tough time in his or her life can make it even harder. You may have never experienced death before and trying to figure out how to comfort your partner may leave you drawing a blank.
Remember that you have to take care of yourself, in order to take care of your partner. Supporting your partner through grief is necessary, but exhausting. He/she might be slipping into a depression that needs clinical intervention, if your partner does not slowly but surely show signs of returning to basic self-care activities such as eating, drinking water, showering and dressing. If you are concerned this might be happening, say it lovingly to your partner. Do take steps to find him an excellent therapist through a health care practitioner you trust.
Here is what you can do to help your spouse through this period of grieving.
1) Give Your Spouse Love
If your partner’s loved one just passed away, the best thing you can do is love them by being there. In order to do that, be silent and listen to them talk about the individual, even if it is repetitive. Be an active listener and focus your attention on them by keeping eye contact. Listening is a gift in itself for people in mourning and greatly appreciated. If they cry, be that shoulder for your partner to cry on.
Your spouse may not show sadness right away. If this is the case, give her a little bit of space until they are ready to come to you for support. You can still show them love by allowing her to process from a distance.
2) Let Them Be Angry
It is best to let your spouse process how he or she naturally processes emotions. Anger is a common reaction to grief and if getting upset or angry over the loss of a loved one is how they react, let them react that way. The wrong angle to approach the situation, is by telling your spouse that they should not be angry or that they should be behaving a certain way, i.e. calmer, less upset, etc. This stage will hopefully only last for a short period of time.
3) Watch What You Say
It may be safe to say “I know how you feel” but everyone grieves differently, if you are in the position of knowing how your spouse may feel. You may not know exactly how they are feeling. Saying the statements like “Everything happens for a reason.” or “(Insert loved one’s name) lived a good life.” is not comforting. Be genuine with your words. If you do not know what to say to them, simply state that.
4) Continue To Put In Effort
Grieving is different for everyone. It may take more than a couple weeks for them to process and through this time, you want to continually be there for them. Your spouse might seem fine after they receive the news, more often than not. As the days pass, it might begin to set in that they will never see their loved one again. There will be no deadline for a grieving process and you should continually offer your support.
5) Revisit Pleasant Memories
“How bad this is” will be your spouse’s first instinct in this difficult time. This is natural for everyone and you should let your partner process any emotions. However, focusing too long on sadness can be unhealthy. Encourage your partner to share their memories of that person, and how the individual shaped or impacted their lives. Revisiting old pictures and videos can be a healthy activity as it helps with the healing process. Reminiscing pleasant memories can be therapeutic as it makes them think of the good times and feel grateful of the time they spent together.
6) Take On The Extra Work
Through this time of grieving, your partner is not going to be able to do everything they used to. Take on some of the chores he or she would usually do. Lightening the load and taking a few things off their plate will help give them the extra time to think and process on their own. Unless he or she finds a specific chore enjoyable or therapeutic, try to do as much for them as you can.
Help your partner feel the maximum amount of comfort and support from you by following these 6 tips as they mourn. Help him or her cope with the loss by being the pillar of strength and assist in the overall processing through this tough time.