The Six Relationships That Harm Your Marriage:- When you hop under the covers each night, there is only one person cozying up next to you. But mentally you may be bringing some outsiders into bed, and it is probably not doing your marriage any favors. If you feel the space between you and your partner growing, it may be time to ask yourself if your other relationships are to blame. Listed below are six, that may be interfering with your marriage - and how to handle them.
1) Your Work Spouse
You love that coworker of the opposite sex whom you share inside jokes with and depend on for coffee breaks, but his presence in your life could be putting a snag in your real spousal relationship. The thing about work colleagues is they get the best of you-you are well-behaved when you are at work. You are in the trenches together, supporting each other, laughing together. The work-life balance hits you, once you get home. Suddenly you have dishes to do and bills to pay, which can put a damper on any relationship, and you are stuck daydreaming of the easygoing banter with your work spouse.
- You have to be aware that if your work husband was your real husband, you would not get along quite as well.
- So how do you kick your office partner out of your marriage?
- Try not talking about him at home quite as much, for starters.
- And then be sure to asses your behavior around him: If you are divulging your deepest, darkest secrets, scale it back - and make sure he is not using you as a therapist either.
- As for after-work interactions, grabbing a drink among coworkers once in a while is fine, but any regularly scheduled alone time is a definite no-go.
2) Your Mother-In-Law
It is a cliche, but perhaps for good reason: Some ladies just do not get along with their guy’s mom. The mother-in-law is clearly a difficult relationship, and people have a really hard time being objective about their own parents. Husbands often want to support and back up their spouse, but mom will always be mom. Regardless, it is important to let parents know where they stand in the relationship between a husband and a wife—and it is normally on the outskirts of it. Confront the pushy in-laws, while being respectful, as a united front and let them know that your marriage comes first.
3) Your Guy’s Female BFF
Unless you are superwoman, chances are you are familiar with jealousy - and a girl who is best friends with your husband can often make that green-eyed monster rear its ugly head. Women are always thinking, Why does he have a best female friend? Is she secretly in love with him? What are they talking about?. Privacy and commitment are the main issues here - you want to make sure that she is not privy to knowledge you are not aware of. But do not take on this issue on your own; the last thing you want to do is create awkward tension with the BFF. Rather, bring up your concerns to your husband, and then he can set some new and more appropriate ground rules with his female friend.
4) Your Trainer
Flowing endorphins, fitted workout clothes, bodies in motion: The gym is a great place to meet a mate - unless you already have a mate. A husband or a wife could easily get jealous and want to make sure you are not discussing too much personal stuff with your trainer. But, as always, you want to make sure the relationship stays purely professional - that means no meet-ups outside of the gym, unless you are grabbing a post workout smoothie or something. Assert your partner that it is only a constructive, professional relationship and that you are not going out of the box.
5) Your Therapist
Yes, the person you are paying to divulge your deepest, darkest secrets to - possibly even ones about your marriage - can be a source of marital strain. Sometimes partners are very intimidated. The reason could be that your husband has a slightly heavy morality. They are afraid that if they do something bad, then their spouse is going to rat them out, and then the therapist will reprimand them. Involve your partner in an informational session with your therapist. This lets them know that you and your confidant are on their side.
6) Your Furry Friend
You may have taken vows with your significant other, but it is your pet that gives you true unconditional love and asks nothing of you in return. You may not even know that your pet is getting most of your affection. It is easy to focus more on a dog or cat that is not leaving socks on the floor or reminding you their mother is visiting this weekend, so be sure you are paying enough attention to your human mate. Signs to look for: May be your dog sleeps in your bed all the time, or maybe your husband tells you you are more affectionate or patient with the dog than you are with him.