Kids Jokes ( Page 3 of 3 )
Swacch Bharat cess, government is a child
News: Cess to implement Swacch Bharat
Punch: For laying roads, public money. For cleaning roads, public money
It seems like, government is like our child and we are feeding it.
The difference is, we can at least object children
By Phani Ch
Punch on Telangana government asking special package
News: Telangana government asks special package after AP is assured for it
Punch: Yes what is wrong in it? When father gives money to the elder brother, how can younger brother be quiet?
By Phani Ch
Trick to test kids obedience
News: MP Kavitha invites Naidu to join hands
Punch: A father can find obedience in his kid, during money requirement
By Phanindra
Ask Modi for onion dosa
News: Centre gives subsidy to onions
Customer: I ordered onion Dosa, where are the onions in it?
Hotel owner: Go and ask Modi
By Phanindra
Father tests son’s cinema knowledge
Father: Beta, from when do you have exams?
Son: 1 min.papa, I’l check timetable
Father: Beta when is Chiranjeevi’s birthday?
Son: It is today papa. In 1955 he was born and till date he completed 149 films and now ready to make 150th film too.
By Phanindra
Fake notes from Pakistan
Fake notes from Pakistan
When I was a kid, I gave a fake note to shopkeeper, he laughed at me and kissed.
After grown up, when I gave the same note, he is trying to kill me.
by Phani
Poor neighbour
Son to his mother “The people next door must be poor.”
Mother said, “Why do you say that?”
The son replied, “Because they made such a fuss when the baby swallowed a ten paise coin.”
School Collection
Great news, teacher says we have a test today come rain or shine.
So what's so great about that?
It's snowing outside!
An ideal homework excuse
Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: I was mugged on the way to school and the mugger took everything I had
What would you get if you crossed a vampire and a teacher?
Lots of blood tests!
Where did all the cuts and blood come from?
The school went on a trip!
What's the worst thing you're likely to find in the school cafeteria?
The food!
A father writes on a boy’s Facebook wall:
Dear son, I hope you are doing great. We missed you so much today. Please turn off your computer now and come for the dinner. We all are waiting for you.
Poor guy
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:
"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."
To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"
