The appropriateness of your relationship with your ex?
In our age of social media, it can be easier than ever to stay in touch with your ex, long after you break up. But what about a real life friendship with an ex from not so long ago? After all, you still have a lot in common -- and still travel in the same circles, meaning you're going to run into him regardless. Is it okay to stay friends? Or are you just setting yourself up for future disaster?
Mr. Allison Pescosolido, M.A. and Andra Brosh, Ph.D., co-founders of Divorce Detox, suggest that first you clearly define what you mean by the word "friend."
Of course once you start dating someone new, expect a wrench to be thrown in the so-called friendship. Especially if your new significant other starts feeling threatened--and you start feeling divided loyalties.
"Your new loyalty is to your current relationship so it's important to respect your new partner's wishes," insist Pescosolido and Brosh. "If they are feeling insecure than maybe it's time to check in on the appropriateness of your relationship with your ex. If you're doing it right, a new significant other shouldn't feel threatened (unless they are extremely insecure). Your ex should understand."
But what if it's you who's feeling threatened, by your ex's new girl? And you find you can't stop feeling those pangs of jealousy every time he chooses her over you?
"That's a trigger and a big red flag that you need to get some professional help to move on," say the Divorce Detox founders. "You might also want to consider the possibility that you are keeping your ex in your life because you still have hope of a reconciliation. A new partner is a sign that he has moved on....and you should, too. Keep this information to yourself and get professional help. This is your problem, not his."
Add Your Comments
Please ensure that you don't use abusive words in your comments. While you have a right to express your views, you have absolutely no right to abuse persons or events. Express your criticism in a gentle way.